


Sexual Healing

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Coming Untouched, Declarations Of Love, Depression, Dom Castiel, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self Medicating, Sub Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 08:31:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7162490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean uses unconventional means of therapy to help Cas deal with his depression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexual Healing

"Cas? You in here? I'm starting to think putting a bell on you is a good idea," Dean lightly threatened. He tapped on the door to Cas' room before opening it. The lights were off. "Cas?"

"I'd like to be alone now, Dean. Please just go."

Dean lingered by the crack in the doorway. Cas had been like this for awhile now. Actually, he'd been this way for over a year. He and Sam just didn't see all the signs at the time. Binge watching television, refusing to go out, listless....it was hard accepting that Cas was suffering from very human depression.

"It's kind of overcast today so it's not too bright or hot. Wanna go for a walk?" Dean knew depression. And anxiety. He'd been self medicating with booze and benzos all his adult life. Cas was different. He wasn't aware of his illness. He didn't process his emotions like other people. Maybe getting him to breathe some fresh air, walk around barefoot...something.

"No," he said a bit too curtly. "Thank you."

Dean trusted his gut when it came to most things. It was telling him not to walk away. He walked in and shut the door behind him. Cas grabbed his wrist in an attempt to stop Dean from turning on the lamp. He gave in and let it stay dark.. Dean lay down beside Cas on the bed.

"Got one of your headaches?" He reached over and gently circled two fingers on Cas' temple. Cas just sighed in response. He relaxed a little under Dean's touch. "Want me to get a cool pack?" 

"It's not that. I...I just don't feel well." Cas rolled onto his back. Dean stayed on his side.

"Do you want me to take you to a doctor? I just want to know how to take care of you."

Dean was trying to help. He was taking cues from how Sam had tried to reach through to him. Except Sam wasn't afraid to get angry at his brother and yell and push until Dean pushed back. Shit. Maybe Cas needed tough love. He used to be a warrior. He fought in wars and smote demons and homophobic televangelists. Castiel was a badass and he'd forgotten.

"I don't think a doctor can fix me, Dean. And you don't have to come pity me for not being...right. I know I'm broken. We all know I'm broken. There's not enough grace to fix me but still enough to keep me from being 'a real boy' as I overheard you and Sam discuss."

Dean sat up and turned on the light. "Look at me, Castiel. I'm broken. Sam is broken. It takes a lifetime to heal from the shit that we've been through and I bet that ain't even enough time." Dean rubbed his chest. "You rebuilt me. When you pulled my ass out of Hell you put me back together piece by piece and what did you use for glue?" Dean put his other hand on Cas' chest. "Your grace. Just enough to keep me from being a real boy. Me and you? Same guy."

"Dean, it's not that simple..." Cas started.

"Uh...yeah, it is. We had the same A plus parenting from our fathers. We were built to fight, to protect. We've fought in the same wars, mostly on the same side. I had Sam to keep me from checking out. You got me."

Cas started crying. "I'm not you!" He screamed. He turned his back to Dean again. "Just go away!"

"Nope."

"Leave me alone!"

"Make me."

Cas growled. He turned and tried to push Dean off his bed. He used his legs too and barely moved Dean an inch. He used to be strong. He used to take a full punch from Dean like a fly had landed on his face. He got up on his knees for leverage and tried again to push Dean away. 

Dean just took it. He didn't push back. He didn't tell Cas to stop. He wanted him mad.

"Come on, where's the Cas that threw me up against the wall and told me I needed to show him some respect?"

Cas' nostrils flared and his breathing was more ragged. Instead of pushing he caught Dean off guard by straddling him and pinning his arms above his head. He raised an eyebrow at Dean. "Is this what you want?" His nose was nearly touching Dean's. "You want me to show my dominance?"

Dean's eyes went wide and his adrenaline surged. "Oh fuck yes!" He was trembling. He had chills and felt the hair pricking up on his arms and on the back of his neck. He let his jaw slack and stared up at Cas. Lips crashed against his hard enough to bruise them.

Cas was aggressive. He kept a firm grip on Dean's wrists and clamped his thighs against Dean's torso. He forced his tongue past Dean's lips and teeth and filled his mouth. Dean was moaning and trying to grind up against his ass. He broke the kiss and sat back on Dean.

"Do you consent?" Cas said in his low, lustful voice.

"What?' Dean had a lot less blood flow to the organ that should be making decisions.

"An angel needs consent before he can enter."

Dean realized what Cas was saying. "Y-yes. Yes, sir."

"Good boy."

Cas released Dean's arms to pull his shirt free. He raised his eyebrow again and shook his head when Dean started to lower them. He moved back to sit on Dean's legs whilst he removed his belt from his jeans. He used it to tie Dean's hands to the metal frame headboard.

Dean was straining against his jeans and wanted to beg Cas to take them off. He started this, though. Cas was going to dominate him and he'd never been more turned on in his life. That incident in the alley all those years ago may have been a close second. He'd never had more than a drunken, experimental blow job with another man but his entire body was aching for Castiel to pound him into the mattress.

Cas leaned forward and captured Dean's bottom lip with his teeth. He raked back and attacked Dean's throat. He took his time biting and sucking deep bruises all over. He was marking him, claiming him. All Dean could do was make stifled whimpers. He had never been in the BDSM world but he knew enough. He wouldn't do anything Cas didn't tell him to.

Cas pinched hard on Dean's already pert and sensitive nipples. Dean arched his back and shut his eyes. "Look at me, Dean." Cas commanded. Dean complied. "Nod if you want me to keep going." Dean nodded. "Good."

Cas decided it was time for Dean to be relieved of the rest of his clothing. He also stripped by the side of the bed. He opened the drawer in his small desk to search for the small plastic bottle Dean had given him. "Men get urges, needs. Perfectly healthy to deal with them by yourself in the privacy of your own room. This enhances the experience." Cas found it to be true for the few times he couldn't get to sleep without "dealing with it" first.

The sight of Dean laid out before him was very arousing. He'd learned from watching pornography that the men were more appealing to him than the women. He'd also learned that Intercourse with another man was more complicated and required preparation. He wanted to pleasure Dean, not hurt him.

Dean didn't resist any direction Cas gave him. He just stared longingly at Cas' hefty cock wanted to ride it. Cas told him to rest his head and close his eyes. The next part was stimulation by touch only. He felt cool liquid running down his crack before being swept back up by a warm finger.

Dean felt the gentle pressure of a thumb against the area just under his balls as the finger circled and teased his hole. He never realized how sensitive he was there. He tried to relax to let Cas slip inside him. The intrusion proved to be much more pleasurable than painful. He moaned softly while Cas finger-fucked him. 

More lube was applied and the next time there was a second finger inside him. There was just a slight bit of discomfort at first it Cas was taking his time to get Dean stretched and relaxed for him. Soon those two fingers felt amazing. If Cas grabbed his dick right now Dean was sure he could come. Then he was stretched some more. 

Dean wanted to cry out. He wanted to beg for Cas to bury that beautiful cock deep inside him and then slam into him with no mercy till he couldn't feel his legs. But he was not told he could be verbal. He could only whine under his breath as he was suddenly empty. He felt the heat off Cas' body hovering over his skin.

"Open your eyes, Dean."

"Agh!" Dean yelled as he was filled again. Cas had gone in to the hilt in one stroke. It burned and he spasmed to ride out the initial pain. 

"Shh...shh. You asked for this and now you're going to take it. You're going to be so good for me." Cas eased back then bucked his hips forward. Dean hissed but kept his eyes locked onto Cas'. He repeated the motion until Dean's eyes were pleading with him.

"You may speak." Cas slammed into Dean again and this time he was loud.

"Oh fuck Cas! Oh fuck it feels so good. Wanted you so bad!" 

"So good for me, Dean. I'm going to let you come soon." Cas praised him. He was keeping a relentless pace and Dean was taking it. He could feel himself nearing release. He pushed one of Dean's legs up to change his angle. 

"Please! Please touch me, Cas!" Dean was begging him and pulling at his restraint. His cock was leaking all over his stomach. 

"Maybe I think you don't need me to touch you." Cas grabbed Dean's hips so hard his thumbs were leaving bruises. The headboard was banging hard against the wall. 

The thought of Sam hearing the commotion and catching him getting fucked three ways from Sunday was enough of an adrenaline boost that Dean felt the tight coil low in his belly break. He sucked in his breath in a hard gasp. Come pumped up and out of him untouched. He felt his ass spasm and clench down on Cas. 

"Dean!" Cas growled at him as he sunk deep in one final thrust. He filled Dean with a hot load and and released his hips. He steadied himself on one arm so he could free Dean's hands. He went to move but Dean hugged him tight to his chest.

"Cas. Just hold me a minute, okay? What we just did? That's um...that's pretty intense stuff." 

"Our first sexual encounter?"

"The dom and sub thing. We just worked through raw emotions. I trust you, Cas. I let you tie me up, left myself vulnerable to you. That's a big step for me. You took your time to make sure any pain I experienced pleasurable. You were just as loving and you were...punishing."

"I didn't realize lovemaking was so therapeutic." Cas gently kissed Dean's cheek before rolling off of him. "I don't think this will cure my problems, though."

Dean reached down to take his hand. "No, not all at once. Depression is a real illness. Everybody deals with it in their own way. Sam talks about stuff to me, to you. I'm still trying to figure out what works for me. Maybe this is how you work through it."

"I could have hurt you."

"I trust you not to. Don't you realize that I want to do this?"

"Why? Why would you wish to be subordinate to me?"

Dean rolled to his side and stroked Cas' face. "Because I love you." He kissed the corner of Cas' mouth. 

Cas was quiet. He was coming down from the rush of his dominant performance. The tears were coming back. "I love you too, Dean." He was sniffling again. Dean pulled him close again. 

"It's okay, angel. Let it out. I'm here, anyway you need me. Just please let me." Dean gently rocked them. He didn't care about the cooling mess between them. He felt like they had a major breakthrough today. A little jizz was a small price to pay for that.

Cas allowed himself to be cuddled and comforted. He had been pushing Dean away because he was ashamed of his weakness. But Dean loved him and gave himself to him at his worst. Maybe the path to getting better was by Dean's side.

 


End file.
